This has definitely been a very trying week on me and it's only Wednesday. All week I've been trying to get everything packed on my own on top of baking 2 batches of cupcakes and a batch of brownies for Friday. Let's not forget that I need to frost the cupcakes, too. I'm stressed out, exhausted, sore, cranky, and emotional. On top of this I'm working full time, so I come home after a long day and I stay up til 1 am packing. I think I'm allowed to feel like crap right now.
Today was supposed to be my goodbye lunch at work, since tomorrow is my last day. My boss remembered every day for the past week and a half until last night when his wife told him she needed him to go with her to a few appointments. Now granted- Family things come up and I totally get that, and he really felt horrible about the whole thing. So bad that he told us to get lunch at CPK on him and that he'll still take us out as an office tomorrow for my last day/lunch. He's a kick ass boss, that's for sure. Anywho- This whole thing made me realize something. When I left Springs a year ago I left behind family and friends. I mean real friends. The kind that actually give a crap about my personal well being. The kind where the friendship was a two way street. Everyone called each other. Everyone hung out. Everyone made time for each other. They all cared if bad things happened to each other. This never changed when I left. Yea, we couldn't hang out any more, but we kept in touch via text/Facebook/email/phone. They missed me being there and I missed being there.
I've been out here for a year. It took me til close to the end of this year to make a friend. I mean a real legit friend. One that texts during the day just to see how work is going. One that calls and says "Hey- Want to make dinner together?". And yes- I did the same back. Who am I leaving behind? An aunt that I haven't talked to in a month because her actions towards family members disgusted me. So called "friends" who have the attitude that it's my job to call and come by and check in and all that stuff. No one really went out of their way for me, but lord knows I went above and beyond what I should have for these people. What's really pathetic is that people I see at the court house for my once a week file run care more about the fact that I'm leaving than these so called "friends" that I have out here. People that I formed a working relationship with over the phone are more upset that I'm leaving than these so called "friends". One of the owners in the company who is in charge of the LA office and I've barely had the pleasure of working with is more upset that I'm leaving than these so called "friends". My co-workers, who are much older than I am (and are extremely happy for me), are more upset at the fact that the 24 year old who has only been with the company for a year than these so called "friends". Really?? REALLY???
I've been yelled at by a slew of people since THURSDAY because they failed at getting their shit done in a timely manner and somehow it's MY fault that their client doesn't have a newspaper publication or isn't bonded yet. Go screw yourself. And honestly- I don't spend my life on Facebook, so excuse me for not noticing a few things here and there. I'm so sick and tired of people, who supposedly give a crap about me, taking their shit out on me. I'm so sorry your life didn't turn out the way you EFFING planned it. Life sucks sometimes. Deal with it. I have not had the best life my entire life. Do I bitch about it? Yea, I know I do. But if I legitimately hurt some one I apologize. If I re-think how I said something and realize that it came off a bit harsh I apologize. My feelings have been legitimately hurt a LOT today and I know that no one is going to apologize to me. I'm going to leave here and those people are never going to right their wrong. They are going to just say that I should just KNOW that they're sorry and let it go. I'm done with just letting things go. I don't need this crap in my life. I don't need people like that constantly going out of their way to bring me down so they can feel better about themselves. I'm done. I'm out.
I guess when I leave on Sunday I can leave happily knowing that this type of drama is behind me. I just hope it stays behind me.
I will say this- If I have hurt anyone lately and didn't realize it, I'm sorry. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Today was supposed to be my goodbye lunch at work, since tomorrow is my last day. My boss remembered every day for the past week and a half until last night when his wife told him she needed him to go with her to a few appointments. Now granted- Family things come up and I totally get that, and he really felt horrible about the whole thing. So bad that he told us to get lunch at CPK on him and that he'll still take us out as an office tomorrow for my last day/lunch. He's a kick ass boss, that's for sure. Anywho- This whole thing made me realize something. When I left Springs a year ago I left behind family and friends. I mean real friends. The kind that actually give a crap about my personal well being. The kind where the friendship was a two way street. Everyone called each other. Everyone hung out. Everyone made time for each other. They all cared if bad things happened to each other. This never changed when I left. Yea, we couldn't hang out any more, but we kept in touch via text/Facebook/email/phone. They missed me being there and I missed being there.
I've been out here for a year. It took me til close to the end of this year to make a friend. I mean a real legit friend. One that texts during the day just to see how work is going. One that calls and says "Hey- Want to make dinner together?". And yes- I did the same back. Who am I leaving behind? An aunt that I haven't talked to in a month because her actions towards family members disgusted me. So called "friends" who have the attitude that it's my job to call and come by and check in and all that stuff. No one really went out of their way for me, but lord knows I went above and beyond what I should have for these people. What's really pathetic is that people I see at the court house for my once a week file run care more about the fact that I'm leaving than these so called "friends" that I have out here. People that I formed a working relationship with over the phone are more upset that I'm leaving than these so called "friends". One of the owners in the company who is in charge of the LA office and I've barely had the pleasure of working with is more upset that I'm leaving than these so called "friends". My co-workers, who are much older than I am (and are extremely happy for me), are more upset at the fact that the 24 year old who has only been with the company for a year than these so called "friends". Really?? REALLY???
I've been yelled at by a slew of people since THURSDAY because they failed at getting their shit done in a timely manner and somehow it's MY fault that their client doesn't have a newspaper publication or isn't bonded yet. Go screw yourself. And honestly- I don't spend my life on Facebook, so excuse me for not noticing a few things here and there. I'm so sick and tired of people, who supposedly give a crap about me, taking their shit out on me. I'm so sorry your life didn't turn out the way you EFFING planned it. Life sucks sometimes. Deal with it. I have not had the best life my entire life. Do I bitch about it? Yea, I know I do. But if I legitimately hurt some one I apologize. If I re-think how I said something and realize that it came off a bit harsh I apologize. My feelings have been legitimately hurt a LOT today and I know that no one is going to apologize to me. I'm going to leave here and those people are never going to right their wrong. They are going to just say that I should just KNOW that they're sorry and let it go. I'm done with just letting things go. I don't need this crap in my life. I don't need people like that constantly going out of their way to bring me down so they can feel better about themselves. I'm done. I'm out.
I guess when I leave on Sunday I can leave happily knowing that this type of drama is behind me. I just hope it stays behind me.
I will say this- If I have hurt anyone lately and didn't realize it, I'm sorry. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
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